My Personal Journey with Recent Events
So, I'm back! I got sick (along with 3 of my kiddos) and then I have been processing some heavy stuff after recent events.
I wanted to share my personal journey in case others are processing similar things.
*** Trigger warning: Gun Violence, Hate Crimes ****
So, with the recent shooting in Colorado it has brought a LOT to the surface for me.
I have recently come to terms with a few parts of my identity. One being that I am Queer. I finally have found a label that felt like it fits and a place where I belong. I have always felt like I didn't identify as hetero but had no idea what slot I fit into. Then I realized, I don't WANT a slot or a box. I have always been that way with all boxes. Don't put me in one man. So, Queer was the label that felt the most aligned. It included ALL of the boxes and at the same time, none of them. Just how I like it.
While all hate crimes have always hit me really hard. This is the first one since I have really felt like a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I also have a child that is a part of the community as well. It hit me that this could have been my child, me, anyone I love.
I realize that this is my privilege showing in a BIG way. And that also hit me hard. Realizing that I have been sitting in my privilege bubble all of this time not standing up and saying anything whenever a hate crime, gun violence, police brutality, etc happens. That brought up a LOT of things for me. Shame, guilt, disappointment, disgust, etc. I had to do a lot of processing with that as well.
I also realized that I have a child that presents as white but has a black father. Through a twist of genetic code they could very well have presented black and man, what a different life that would have been as their mother. More privilege.
Sigh.......
It's been a journey for sure.
I ask you to sit with your feelings about all of this. See what comes up for you. If you need someone to bounce things off of, I'm here. This is tough stuff that makes us confront parts of ourselves that aren't so pretty or nice. Be gentle with yourself but be open to changing things.
We have to start loving each other (and ourselves) more. And with NO conditions or exceptions involved. I know I'm preaching to the choir with you guys but sigh.......Just makes me crazy the people that say they are Christians and then they turn around and spew hate in all directions and think it's ok for people to be killed because their beliefs are different than the others. Just blows my mind.
Hug your people tight today. Take a look in the mirror and see where you can make a change and move forward being better than before. (We can always improve somewhere)
